2010 in 2010 words or less

I love Recaps!!

January - I ring in the New Year with my crazy sister Rachel, being goofy and high on life.



February - Javier gets his Visa and I get the news during the school day - my students start celebrating, cheering, and dancing with me.

March - I turn 25 in the Big Apple with some of my favorite people. Javier comes to Texas, meets my family, asks my dad the "big question", and later asks me! What a good month!





April - Javier's first snow. I survive the TAKS test (this is huge).



May - Sign the lease for our new apartment, wedding planning in full force, ending the school year.

June - Day after school is out, I fly down to Mexico to get paperwork in order for the wedding.

July - We get legally married!




August - I move, spend some relax time in Tyler, buy a new car, and start a new school year.

September - I don't think I slept much this month... can't remember it.

October - Married!! Twice!!




November - Javier's 1st American Bday. Road Trip through Austin, to San Antonio. Javier's 1st Thanksgiving with the Eatons/Carters.



December - Stress at work hits an all time high; I cry. I get my first REAL Christmas tree. Thankful for vacation we go to Houston for Christmas, then to New Orleans and Shreveport.




What a whirlwind year full of plans, weddings, trips, love, supportive friends, new family, and the continual overwhelming blessings of God.

2010, you were good to me. Here's to 2011.

We are not unaware of his schemes

Armor Up!

March in formation
battalion, we move as one
we fight for no country
nor for freedom
(they are already ours to possess)
we fight for love of our powerful leader
whose name only he knows

he leads us on a white horse
the battlefield is open
with no where to hide
it's impossible to escape the flaming arrows that arc above us
and pin us down with deadly accuracy

Lift up your shields!
Follow your captain!
He leads to victory and peace
Stand firm!
Trust his promises!
He knows all and never fails

Train hard!
Armor up!
Although we may fall, we will be saved
Fear not!
Run towards the front line!
There, the bravest face suffering with joy

Do not surrender!
Be strong of heart!
Soon the enemies will become footstools
crushed beneath our heels
Lift up the wounded!
Carry them on your backs!
They are invaluable and favored by the captain

Though night may fall
and darkness envelops
do not fear the invisible
for when we call out
a pillar of fire burns down from heaven
a light unto our feet
a wall of protection

As dawn breaks do not grow weary
Lift up your swords!
Strengthen feeble arms!
Let the name above all renew your soul to fight another day
that it may be said of you
"good and faithful"

The name of our leader is a war-cry
causing fear in the souls of our enemies
Armor up!

~me, 5/6/08

shady business

I've always struggled with the concept that God loves me. or that He likes me -- I typically think of God as that family member who loves me bc He has to but not because He really likes me. I know this is not true and completely opposite of His character, so I decided to read Scripture to discover His loving character. And where better to start than in the Old Testament?

So in Genesis you have murderers, cowards, braggarts, deceivers, liars, doubters, passive husbands, greedy controlling wives, quarreling brothers, envious people, rapists, and did I leave anything out? Basically, it's shady. People are shady. There is no one who is righteous. Not one.

At one point I found myself getting so frustrated with God when I kept reading about how Jacob was tricking everybody and I said "God, why do you keep blessing him? He's so SHADY!!" -- and in that moment I felt like the metaphorical mirror was lifted to my face and I realized "why does He bless me? I'm so shady too!" - Then I quickly repented and said "thank You" about a 100 times.

But it just goes to show I have much to learn. My pride keeps me from seeing the ugly in me; and when that's lifted I keep doubting God's love. But how does God respond in all of this? Compassion, listening, speaking, teaching, rebuking in love, clothing, saving, protecting, guarding, generosity... He loves the shady characters. He meets them, wrestles with them, calls them out and makes them more mature. They become someone different, He changes their names. They die wiser and more aware of God's nature and person. They die blessed.

s.u.b.m.i.s.s.i.o.n.

stephanie, i only hope my blog can be as transparent as yours.

I'm preparing to get married and with that comes the plans and details of two weddings, the details of the civil wedding, the premarital counseling, the book reading, the culture compromising, and of course the time with the Lord who is preparing my heart.

a while back He showed me just how prideful i am. i say this with a certain amount of hatred as i think about it - i think i know better than God and therefore i don't need Him. i wasn't praying unless i wanted something and i thought the Bible was too boring to be worthy of my time. praise God that He woos us back to Himself and doesn't let us run our own way.

let Thy goodness
like a fetter
bind my wandering heart to Thee

Now as i ponder the meaning of love, of submission, of authority, of responsibilities of marriage i realize that this too is a demonstration of my pridefulness vs my humility. Am i willing to submit to a man? to follow his decisions? to trust that the Lord is leading him and guiding him into what will be best for us both? Am I humble enough to bite my tongue when all I can think is "I told you so!"? Am I able to respect a human man and follow him when I struggle with doing so with a perfect and wise God? It's true though that this is a heart issue and that I'm not alone. The fall of man made sure that the husband would rule over the woman and the woman would want to fight back. I sometimes bristle at the thought of "submission" but it's truly because of my own prideful sinful heart.

The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?

How beautiful would our marriage be if I, instead of clinging to my own way, submitted myself out of respect and love for my husband and we could honor and reflect God's way of doing life to those around us? How lovely would it be, how glorifying, for others to see a new way of marriage and to question and wonder about the ways of Christ! Truly our purpose is to glorify God, and to think that my humility (along with the work of the Holy Spirit) could be a catalyst towards the softening of someone's stone heart to the things of Christ... what an honor, what a responsibility, what a hard task lies before me and my extremely prideful heart...

This is how we know what love is:
Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.
And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

mercado

I walk down the crowded streets filled with swerving buses, honking cars, teenage lovers on a bench, homeless men sleeping in the shade, and older woman congregating to talk. As I enter into the mercado (market) I am bombarded with color and sound - red, green, and blue tarps protect the fragrant and exotic fruits from the warm sunshine. The flowers are in full bloom and are being thrust upon me by the workers persuading me to pay $2 for the fresh batch of roses that smell so good my knees get a little weak. The reggeaton music blends with the 90s american pop blasting from opposing stereos in a decibel war; where nearby an old tired man sells parrots hopping from perch to perch. Everywhere I walk I'm surrounded by people offering me their goods and a smile comes to my face every time they call me "huera" (white girl) or "reinita" (princess/little queen). I walk slowly through this cocktail of senses drinking in the baskets of blackberries for $1, the perfect plums, the sweet oranges, the strange fruits that look like small cherries but I can't pronounce their names. The variety of chiles, red ripe tomatoes, and mountains of green limes catch my eye as my ears hear the squeaking of the tortilla machine, cranking out beautiful corn tortillas from the hand-made masa the old woman has spent all morning preparing. The cacti are being de-spined, lines form, food is weighed, people negotiate and coins are counted as mothers and grandmothers alike rush home with their treasures to feed their families.

(not my picture)

Just another day in the mercado.

my spiritual state is not so far from Israel

Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands... He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years.

Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land—a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery...You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth...

timing.

tick tick tick tick.

the whole earth revolves around this thing called time. even moreso in our culture.

school schedules are to the minute.
cars speed by as if running out of time.
calendars are filled weeks in advance.
friendships are planned or they dissolve.

and weddings must occur.

we are getting married twice, once in mexico city and once here in texas. (mckinney, to be exact). we have to coordinate flight schedules, work schedules, driving times, decoration times, and venue and photographer schedules -- not to mention legal processes and all the fun that that entails.

horror stories of immigration have been coming our way, along with many critical opinions about when we should/shouldn't get married. but you know what? the most important thing isn't their ideas of timing, nor ours. but the Lord's.

He holds everything in His hands.
He sustains everything with His words.
He plans every moment of our lives.

so, i choose to rest in His times. His plans.

peace in the chaos

Therefore be strong (stable, established) in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand (hold up, continue, persist, endure) against the devil's schemes (trickery, methods). For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground (resist, oppose) and after you have done (have prepared) everything, to stand.

There is a whirlwind around me.

Of stress.
Of tension.
Of big decisions.
Of unattractive circumstances.

However, the peace I feel (when I pray for it and quietly sit under the Lord's promises) is amazing. Sure, my body is feeling the stress (especially in my back and neck, ow!) and I feel tired, but that's life.

All I can do is pray - listen - obey - and rest. In the obedience comes the rest, the peace, the ability to exhale. Because I know that I'm doing what the Lord is asking of me for this moment, for this day. And I'm depending on Him to help me do it. His yoke is light.



I run in the path of Your commands, for you have set my heart free.

In your anger do not sin; when you are in your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord...I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

He has shown you, o man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

e.n.g.a.g.e.d.

Yesterday Javier and I frolicked around the metroplex. Then I dropped him off with a friend for a "guys night". I didn't really want to share him with anyone but, I figured, if he's going to live here then he needs friends too. Plus he said something that made me really mad (later I found out he did that bc he thought I was suspecting and for some reason in his head he thinks he can make a surprise better if I'm mad when it happens...) so I didn't mind dropping him off. I was supposed to get dinner with the girls but I was so upset that I almost didn't. I called them and said "I think I shouldn't be around people right now, I might just go home". Ellie has some powers of persuasion though and said "No! This will be exactly what you need, some time with the girls!" So I went...

After dinner, Presley mentioned getting some ice cream, wait, no, some coffee, wait no, some wine. It was cold and windy out so I told the girls I'd get my jeans out of the car and meet them at Jupiter House. I was confused about why they sounded so annoyed, I had only parked around the corner. I came back around carrying my jeans and saw the girls just talking on the square - laughing and being really loud and excited about something -- but I was on the other side of the street and couldn't hear them or understand why. I talked to them across the street and then we started walking ...

What is that street performer doing? Why does he look like Javier?

Oh my goodness! It IS him! This whole thing has been a set-up! The girls knew! Who are those people hiding around the corner?

I walked toward him and he began to do a mime act for me..."Oh no! He's proposing and I can't understand what he's saying!!" (later I found out he had actually forgotten everything he had planned). So I just looked into his eyes, knowing that was enough.

(Later I asked, Why mime? Because when we met, we didn't need words to understand each other
- we communicated across the room with our looks and hand gestures, and he always understood
what I was thinking/feeling/trying to say).

He turns on the song "Siempre te busque" by Monocordio -- a sweet song that talks about how before he met me he was confused but now he understands why his heart was always searching for me. He acts out the song and gets down on one knee. Here it is. Remember this, Michelle, remember what he says.

(I remember but I'm not telling you :P)

I fish out a ring from the box of amber. Beautiful. Delicate - perfect - simple - not flashy - not a solitaire... exactly what I wanted. Beautiful! Our friends come rushing around us and I can't find my words - I don't think he actually asked me to marry him and I don't think I officially said yes until we were seated inside of Wine Squared.

Champagne toast with good friends. Telling the story for the first time.

Party with my loved ones back at my house. It's black and white themed. I kissed him a lot, my fiancee.

15. There are a few foods that look and smell delicious to me. When I see them I think “I want one!” But once I put that food in my mouth I sadly remember “I don’t like this!” and spit it out. Unfortunately, I keep on trying that food and many a banana and onion ring have been wasted on my poor memory.

16. I attribute my stubbornness and frugality to my grandparents – I don’t truly believe
that these things can be genetic, but it’s still a better explanation than the fact that my heart is still wicked.

17. I have an extreme aversion to overhead lights. I am currently sitting in the living room with an overhead light on and it feels so harsh and makes my eyes hurt/strained/tired. If you are ever in my room you’ll notice that I use a lot of upward facing lamps and never turn on the actual light. This is another thing I blame on my grandpa; every memory I have of him requires him wearing a visor in the house because the lights were “too bright”. Genetic?

18. I’m a little obsessive about finding the best driving route to and from places I go often. I time different routes from street to street and drive it multiple times at the same time of day to find an average time it takes. If you were to ask me how to get from Point A to Point B I can more than likely tell you how, how long, and how many stop lights and stop signs you’ll come across. And I will definitely think of nothing else if you take the wrong way when I’m riding with you.

19. I’m a mini- hypochondriac. I love those rare medical conditions shows and House but since my nickname used to be “Weird Disease Girl” I get a little nervous when my body does something unusual. For example, when I found out my wisdom tooth was infected I thought to myself “Great now the infection will go to my brain and I’ll die. Good thing Pancho already has his plane ticket so he can be at my funeral.”

25 things part 2

8. If you are familiar with the theory of multiple intelligences, I would tell you that I am verbal/linguistic, bodily/kinesthetic, musical/rhythmic, and intrapersonal. Being the intrapersonal that I am, I have reflected on this and find so much humor in it – see #s 9-11 for my reflections.

9. I am verbal/linguistic; I love words. I listen to music and think “what a fabulous word!”, “what a unique way to say it!” (I even have a list of favorite lyricists!) I can often put into words what others are trying to say. I love to debate and learn best through discussion. I love to write poetry but cannot write a story to save my life. I can’t think of an original plot line. Strange.

10. I am bodily/kinesthetic. I learn by doing. If I need to memorize scripture I often make up movements to go with it. I can learn choreographies in minutes but can’t do those “just feel it” dances. And I’m horrible at sports. Haha, really horrible.

11. I am musical/rhythmic. There’s always a song in my heart, I learn through song, and have often said I would prefer to be blind than deaf. I pick up melodies and rhythm in seconds but never really enjoyed playing instruments. I would love to sing – but I don’t have the voice. I’ve always found this irony frustrating and often times defeating.

12. I love to cook (this is new) and read. I’m currently loving my recipe book and get giddy when I can add a new recipe to it. I read in spurts- a few months of reading constantly, 6 months of never touching a book.

13. Since moving to Mexico I have realized how much I enjoy travelling. 2009 was the year of the travel (Miami, Mexico, Texas, Memphis) and I’m itching for more. It’s almost like travelling keeps me sane; it’s a stress reliever. Good thing I will turn 25 in the Big Apple!

14. I’m not detail oriented, but I do like to have a plan (not having one stresses me out!). I am aware that these statements are contrary but I can’t really explain myself here.

25 things for 25 years

I turn 25 in 2 weeks. To keep me from a quarter-life crisis I've decided to focus on the intricate and unique ways my Lord has created me to be and is growing me. Below is part 1 of what I hope to be an interesting sketch of "who I am at this point in life" and all my weird quirks that I love:

1. When I’m reading a good book, I take it everywhere with me. It’s always in my hands, in my purse, or with me when I drive. Even when I know there won’t be a single moment to read, it’s with me “just in case”. In fact, the thought of not having the book with me causes me a little anxiety!

2. I wouldn’t necessarily say I am a morning person because my bed is one of my favorite places in the world, but if I have to get up, I can be vertical and alert. (Except for the few times I’ve tried to grocery shop after waking up – then I’m really clumsy and knock things off the shelves.) I don’t drink coffee or any type of caffeine (exception being a vanilla lime Dr. Pepper from Sonic every once in a while) and I don’t like the fact that it’s perfectly acceptable in our culture to be so dependent on caffeine that we can’t function without it.

3. I don’t eat fish or pork. My palate has grown a lot since I’ve gotten older and began travelling and I’m a lot less picky than I was… but my tastebuds still say “Yuk!” to anything that’s been in the sea or any form of swine (except for Lillian’s lomo which I thought was lamb and ate a lot of).

4. One of my favorite moments in the whole wide world is when I hear new music (a new CD) for the first time. It brings tears to my eyes. I like to hear it for the first time when I’m driving because I pay better attention to the lyrics. I can immediately tell you what my favorite song is, and it’s usually track 9 (which is weird bc that’s my favorite number!)

5. I am a teacher. It is not my job, it’s part of my personality. I taught my sister double digit addition before she was in the first grade. I love to impart knowledge. I’m still unsure about the paperwork and politics part of the public school system. My dream job is to teach people about Jesus, formally or informally, and/or how to read.

6. I am (mostly) ambidextrous. I do about 5/6 things with my left hand (write, brush teeth, detailed stuff) and everything else with my right. When I try something new I have to try it with both hands to figure out which one I like better (still trying to decide with tennis and hammering, I’m equally bad with both hands!). I also have had long nails since I can remember (thanks Mom for your genes!) and when a nail breaks I find that daily tasks are more difficult without my nails!

7. I hate the cold. This should not be surprising to anyone.

more to come...