My eyes only

(Sitting down to write this I realized a) the last time I sat to write was almost 6 months ago and b) it's about a very similar topic.)

Does the OCEAN exist?

What if you told me about this large body of water, so large that one could not see the end of it, and you told me it was the ocean? What if you said it had waves so powerful they could sweep a man off his feet? What if you told me this unfathomable body of water was beautiful, deadly, and unending?

And what if I said - nope. You're wrong.

I've never seen the ocean, therefore it doesn't exist.
I've never experienced waves like that, therefore they don't exist.
I've seen hints of it, rivers and lakes and creeks, therefore you are just exaggerating to make a point.
That picture, that video, comes from a media source which is just blowing it out of proportion to sound more extreme than it really is - there's another side to the story that would prove you wrong.
No one around me in my town, street, or neighborhood has seen the ocean, therefore you and the people who say it does exist, are all wrong.

You would call me a ridiculous, ignorant, and arrogant FOOL.
Since when did ultimate truth depend only on my eyes, my ears, and my personal experience?

Yet this is exactly what we do with racism/racial discrimination/racial injustice. 

I've never seen it, therefore it doesn't exist.
I've never experienced it, therefore it doesn't exist.
I've seen hints, maybe, but you are just exaggerating.
That picture, that video, is just blown out of proportion to sound more extreme; there's another story that would prove you wrong.
No one around me has seen it, so you and all of the people who say it does, are all wrong.

When thousands and thousands are protesting in the streets, can I possibly say racism/racial discrimination/racial injustice DOESN'T exist???

***

I think, in wake of what's been happening in our world lately, it's time to stop denying the existence of something so big, unfathomable, and obvious. To do so is as ignorant as denying the ocean. It's time for people with no personal experience (myself included) to admit that we don't know everything. It's time for people who have never looked into the abyss to speak only from a position of validation (yes, I hear you), empathy (I feel your hurt and frustration), and humility (I don't know, please tell me).

MLK & Racism today

Teaching Kindergarten, there are a few units I don't like teaching. Stephen F Austin (Texas stole Mexico and killed everyone, hooray, he's a hero!), measurement (boooooring), and Martin Luther King Jr.

You see, every year I have a hard time articulating the depths of racism that was rampant in his lifetime in a way that a 5-6 year old can understand. How can you explain that hatred? That ignorance? That cruelty? How do you do it tactfully, accurately, and appropriately (and without nasty parent emails)?

Then I see the faces of my kids as I struggle through difficult waters.
Shock.
Awe.
Confusion.
Disgust.
Hurt.
...and it warms my heart.

With tears in their eyes, they whisper "but that's not right" with such confusion that it encourages me. It seems so clear.

My kinders cannot fathom a world that existed just 60 years ago. They cannot fathom discrimination. Their little minds don't have room for the idea of racism. Of making someone to be LESS just because of skin color.

They may be 5 years old, but they know more than many adults do.

Martin Luther King Jr made my classroom possible: "I have a dream that one day right here in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers"

So what are we doing wrong?

Injustice still occurs. Racism still occurs. I believe that we are still so broken that we carry prejudices based on skin color.

But I believe that this is LEARNED.

-- parents, what are you teaching?

2014 Recap

Aw yes, the  blog recap of the year! I was going to try to list all of my favorite moments of the year but then I realized that my favorites were not necessarily because they were "awesome feel-good" moments; these are my favorites because in these moments God revealed Himself to me a little deeper, a little greater, and a little closer than before.

*note: these are in no particular order bc that's too much pressure

COMMUNITY

These girls - because it's almost been 10 years. Through thick and thin, these girls have been my community and I love them. Even though this year one of them moved away and we cried a lot - I still praise the Lord daily for them. 

Over the course of these past reflective days I've been moved to tears as I've thought about our new church and the new friends, community, and accountability we have found. Not to mention a church that loves missions :)

(pictured here: our first accountability group + Javi hiding from the tornado!)

NEW ADDITIONS

Baby J came home this year!!! I've loved these 2 for many years and had the privilege to pray for, cry with, long for, and celebrate with them throughout their adoption process. We love you, Kai Samuel!!

What do you say when one of your best friends tells you she's pregnant? Get super excited because she's going to have the most beautiful baby ever. Case in point - Amelia and her little tongue!!

MEXICO

Being able to say goodbye to this beautiful woman was a privilege. 

Continuing to love on this not-so-little-one has been life-changing. Compassion International has changed both of our lives forever and I love seeing the kind, soft-hearted man Eduardo is growing up to be. 

Spending time with my nephew was life-giving and so much fun. I'm glad he actually knows us now! Here's to more superhero afternoons and trips to the aquarium!

And we cannot forget the rest of our Mexico "family" - how beautiful it is to have community in multiple countries and languages! They were so sweet to organize a surprise party for us - les queremos mucho!

HIGHS

Having Fernanda stay with us for a month really made us realize how much we'd love to continue opening up our home to others. 

Celebrating my favorite man and making him feel special. 

Oh Jason Mraz. You were my favorite 2014 memory.

LOWS

These 6 screws and metal plate in this little leg caused a lot of hard conversations, budget strains, and emotional stress. All because of a squirrel. But the Lord was so kind to us throughout the whole procedure - helping us emotionally, providing financially, and guiding us to a cheaper yet still good surgeon. 

 When I woke up from a car nap to see us spinning out of control across all lanes of freeway traffic, it was clear we were NOT in control. Thankfully we hit only 1 car where no one was hurt, were not t-boned by passing traffic, walked away with no cuts bruises or broken bones, and had a totaled car that could still drive until we could get it into the shop. Insurance paid for EVERYTHING (seriously, thank you AAA), including my immediate back pain that had just undone so much of the healing that had been occurring over the previous year. But even in it all, God provided the money and the CLEAR guidance about buying a new car. Overall, it was a really cool experience and good lesson about praying about EVERYTHING.

My body continues to be temperamental - with good days and bad ones -  but this has been a year filled with understanding what the Bible means when God says that His grace is enough. Instead of beating myself up emotionally about my lack of physical strength, learning to accept it, learning to praise God in it, and learning to not let it lead me to despair has probably been the coolest lesson this year. I didn't do it either - it was really a heart change of which I was a passive recipient.

Loved you 2014, Here's to 2015!