casa - itis

MEDICAL HISTORY
We are moving from our 1st apt to our 1st (rented) house at the end of this month. We are both beyond excited (for a garden, a back yard, a grill, more rooms to decorate, our own washer and dryer) but as with anything in life, nothing comes easy.

SYMPTOMS
this month has been hard financially and *thankfully* I got paid today... but then I checked the mail and found more bills and a red light ticket ::sigh::

I keep having these money freakouts because that's my big idol - I like to have money to spend on what I want to spend it on (see above: rooms to decorate) but not to pay boring things (see above: bills, deposits, and tickets). I want it for me. I want a house that's as nice and put together as my friends'. And since they all have amazing house decorating skills there's this competitive/"not good enough" spirit where joy should be. And instead of saying "I want this house to reflect me" it's becoming a "I want my house to be cuter than my friends'..."

DIAGNOSIS
In all honesty, I want all the "r"s. I want a bigger house, a nicer car, fancier clothes, etc... You know, the materialistic dream (which, for many, causes more money problems and repeats the cycle of frustration).

All in all I'm learning that my heart is darker than I thought.
I'm more materialistic than I wish I was.
I'm less content than I realized.
I'm more broken than I choose to remember.

PRESCRIPTION
Money itself doesn't suck - it's an opportunity to show our trust in God, to learn wisdom and stewardship, to bless others, and to live in a way that shows our treasure is not here on earth.

my treasure is not in a house. or cute straight-out-of-a-decor-magazine rooms. or in a number in a bank account. my treasure cannot be taken away because I am a daughter of the King. and my treasure is in Him.

EXPECTED RECUPERATION TIME
although today my wicked heart tries to cling to things of this world for value, security, and comfort -one day You will set all things right -jj heller "your hands" Until then, I have a husband and friends who point me towards truth and a sympathetic God who knows and forgives.

what is heaven like?

[based of matt chandler's sermon "Transitions: Arriving"]

what is heaven like?
- fire and light (no more darkness!)
- protection (no need for locked doors, worries, anxiety!)
- refuge (no grief or pain!)
- a mystery now (we will understand completely, no confusion or questions!)
- treasure (the most valuable thing here is as commonplace as concrete or water here!)

everything beautiful we can imagine here
is but the fringes of what God has prepared in heaven

sounds great, no? oh wait, did i mention that GOD IS THERE?
God - the source of all goodness, satisfaction, love, wisdom - is there.
heaven isn't good because your childhood dog is there.
heaven isn't great because your family members are waiting for you.
heaven isn't cool because it's "all your favorite things"
heaven isn't desirable because of all the things i listed above.

heaven
isn't
about
you.
heaven isn't about you.
not
about
you.

It's a wedding feast, a celebration, a banquet celebrating our love for Jesus, who invites us into this treasure of a world with no darkness, no fear, no pain. who invites us to be forever with our 1st love.


so - if heaven is this great - there is nothing that isn't worth it. no sacrifice you make, no loss, no persecution that you face, no suffering that comes your way that isn't small and finite in comparison with f.o.r.e.v.e.r. with your love, where you are satisfied, loved, joyful, and protected.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

worship

Worship [wur-ship] noun, verb

1.reverent honor and homage paid to God

2. adoring reverence or regard
3. the object of adoring reverence or regard.

4. to feel an adoring or regard for

Things that create worship in me:

different generations of my family all in the same room


green and blue


my husband loving on my family


Fireflies


Identical twins


Waterfalls (my very first!)



My grandma's yellow house


Old historic things


My husband's love for me


(and his photography talent! wow!)

^{James 1:17} Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
thank You Father :)

some things change...some don't

Things that Change:

- I am now the newest Kindergarten teacher at my school. Mixed feelings...

- Javi and I are spending a.l.l. summer together. This should be interesting!

- We have been waking up early all summer because my dog's internal alarm clock says 6:30 am = potty time!

- We will soon be renting a cute house in the heart of Denton closer to the square! It has a backyard! Yeah!

- Paperwork for my husband's immigration status! *soon*

Things that Don't Change:
- Afternoon naps, berries, and poolside times still make summer the best season.


- We've been continuing our low food budget with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. Yum!

- I've been creating my own summer recipes - my new favorite is Graham Cracker Fruit Tarts (graham cracker crumbs, applesauce, sugar, cinnamon - mix and spoon into muffin cups - bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes - spoon yogurt and fruit on top! yum!)


- Summer reading is the best - so far I've enjoyed Same Kind of Different as Me and I'm excited to start Joy Luck Club and Savvy. among many others!

- My husband is an uber talented photographer! (and for some reason fb won't let me copy his pics to put up here, sorry!)

- God is still faithful to hear and answer prayers :)

A month of firsts (and hopefully some lasts)

Some fun and not so fun things that have happened lately:

- Gave the TAKS test

- Almost passed out during the TAKS test, had to go to the ER for super low blood pressure – continued to fight this for about 2 weeks as my b.p. continued to drop randomly – much fear and anxiety as I prayed asking God to control the blood pumping through my veins…

- Got 2 new students – one who the Lord blessed me with for only 1 month instead of all 10 months (oh.my.goodness this child stresses me out)

- Maya grew a whole lot, lost her baby teeth and is learning more commands

- Went to happy hour with girls from work – I really am blessed to have good friends I work with, who support me and make me laugh

- Watched Pumas (soccer) games as Javi yelled at the TV and Mavs games as everyone else in Dallas yelled (Go Mavs!)

- RIP braces October 2009-April 2011 :D

- Went to Houston for a high school friend’s wedding (actually friend since 1^st grade although she and I fought a lot at first - she had glitter crayons and wouldn’t share with me!)

- Finished the “exciting” books of Leviticus and Numbers, started devouring Deuteronomy and loving it!

- Ate chicken cooked on a can of beer – yum!

- Felt really appreciated during Teacher Appreciation Week with all the candy, cards, flowers, and hugs

- Discovered Words with Friends – Javi says “stop playing that silly game!!” bc I play it a l l t h e t i m e

Looking forward to being the *hopefully* math and science teacher of 3rd grade next year! (i say hopefully because i still haven't signed a contract)

Left Maya alone for the first time - we're home now and she's acting funny (aka super sweet and obedient -- reflection post coming soon)

funny thing happened

Yes the stress has hit the fan this week, as predicted in the previous post. It was heightened by my unexpected new student we'll add to my list of impulsive ADD-type students in my class (in case you were counting that's 6 out of 19 now). And then, l a u g h t e r.

When: after the dog park
Where: sitting in traffic
The scene: listening to Bob Marley with the windows down

Girl in next car: Do you smoke?
Me: No, sorry. (thinking she's looking for a lighter, although that would be awkward in traffic)
Girl: Not cigarettes?
Me: No. (geez, I said no)
Girl: Not the other thing?
Me: No. (ooooh I get it) ... We just like Bob Marley.
Girl: Oh so you do smoke.
Me: No.
Girl: Not cigarettes but the other thing.
Me: No.
Girl: But... how can you like Bob Marley and not smoke the other thing? *drives away very confused*
Javi & I make the drivers behind us mad bc the light has turned green and we're laughing too hard to notice.

Ahhh, only in Denton. (Or California.)

calm before the storm

It is Sunday afternoon. one of my favorite times. currently i'm lying in bed (not feeling too well) with a belly full of my fast food indulgence (hey, i ate salads all week!). We broke our only golden dog rule and snuck her into our bedroom and Maya is sprawled on top of Javi awkwardly as they both lightly snore together.

*sigh*
the calm before the storm.

April will be a whirlwind of a month. Not just because of the TAKS test, every 3rd grade teacher (and student's) worst nightmare, and not just because of the countless meetings to have to scramble to get accommodations for students in writing before the test so they can receive them on the testing days. The whirlwind isn't just about work, although this does add to the to-do list. No, the whirlwind comes with (hopefully) some definition.

Tomorrow we meet with a lawyer to discuss our options as far as Javi's immigration status, current and future. We are hoping that now we have heard from the state of Texas that I do have a job next year we can get some good facts about our options. With gas prices going crazy we just can't afford to have Javi come and go every 6 months and we would love to have some extra income but can't until some paperwork is underway (or so we think...once again hopefully the lawyer will clear all that up for us).

Also I will hopefully be getting my braces off soon (not a moment *too* soon) and will be getting food allergy tested for the first time in my life. I know there's something I'm allergic to because of my recent strange reaction and my commonly swollen "Angelina Jolie" lip that comes and goes as it pleases. I'm a little nervous though because my mom is severely allergic to preservatives and because I haven't been able to figure out exactly what causes my reactions it could be something similar that is in everything. As long as they don't tell me that I'm allergic to fruit, wine, or chocolate I think I'll be okay ;)

I'm excited for changes, for guidance, and for light to shine on our path so we may walk clearly and with wisdom.