ringing in 2010 with my crazy sister
baking gingerbread cookies -- which later my sister decided she wanted sugar cookies :/
i love this girl :)
denton snow day
me and my denton family
sunset in denton!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
light-hearted
ringing in 2010 with my crazy sister
baking gingerbread cookies -- which later my sister decided she wanted sugar cookies :/
i love this girl :)
denton snow day
me and my denton family
sunset in denton!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
capsize
What a great word. Heard it in a Amos Lee song a few months ago and thought "wow! i love him so much more now for using that word!"
***
This command I entrust to you, Timothy, my son, in accordance with the prophecies previously made concerning you, that by them you fight the good fight, keeping faith and a *good conscience, which some have rejected and suffered **shipwreck in regard to their faith. [1 Tim 1:18-19]
*good conscience - Greek - to be aware of, to see, to perceive, to understand right and wrong + to be together with, union
Our "good conscience" comes from us being close to the Lord, being together with Him -> living in the Spirit -> being aware of and perceiving right and wrong and choosing right
If we neglect this "good conscience" - if we neglect being close to the Lord, being together with Him and walking in the Spirit - we suffer the shipwreck of our faith.
**2 examples of shipwreck:
- The disciples are on the boat with Jesus. The seas toss, the waves crash, they freak out and run to Him. He says "oh ye of little faith", calms the sea, and saves them.
- Jonah is walking/running in disobedience and gets on a boat. Tries to go the opposite direction. The seas toss, the waves crash, and he jumps off the boat into the ocean. Instead of facing God, he sits in a fish for 3 days.
If we neglect the Lord, we will suffer shipwreck. But, when we realize it, we don't have to jump off the boat. If we turn to Him in the midst of it, He bestows grace and shows His loving and patient character.
...meditate...
***
This command I entrust to you, Timothy, my son, in accordance with the prophecies previously made concerning you, that by them you fight the good fight, keeping faith and a *good conscience, which some have rejected and suffered **shipwreck in regard to their faith. [1 Tim 1:18-19]
*good conscience - Greek - to be aware of, to see, to perceive, to understand right and wrong + to be together with, union
Our "good conscience" comes from us being close to the Lord, being together with Him -> living in the Spirit -> being aware of and perceiving right and wrong and choosing right
If we neglect this "good conscience" - if we neglect being close to the Lord, being together with Him and walking in the Spirit - we suffer the shipwreck of our faith.
**2 examples of shipwreck:
- The disciples are on the boat with Jesus. The seas toss, the waves crash, they freak out and run to Him. He says "oh ye of little faith", calms the sea, and saves them.
- Jonah is walking/running in disobedience and gets on a boat. Tries to go the opposite direction. The seas toss, the waves crash, and he jumps off the boat into the ocean. Instead of facing God, he sits in a fish for 3 days.
If we neglect the Lord, we will suffer shipwreck. But, when we realize it, we don't have to jump off the boat. If we turn to Him in the midst of it, He bestows grace and shows His loving and patient character.
...meditate...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
heavy
So often I am reminded that this world is not perfect. It is not beautiful. It is broken and hurting.
My pastor has stage 3 cancer and 3 young children.
One of my best friends is walking through a world of hurt.
I'm far away from the man I want to marry.
A co-worker is emotionally separated from her husband.
People I closely walk with fight daily temptations of anorexia and depression.
The wall over my bed is covered with faces of those who may be hungry, cold, or neglected right now.
My roommate works at a woman's shelter and hears the stories of abuse and fear.
This week in my mentoring I learned something:
there is a difference between relying and hoping in the Lord for daily earthly things
(help me with this, lead me in that, teach me to this, let me do that)
and putting and storing up my hope in being with the Lord in heaven
(your blood and sacrifice that grants me salvation is enough and all i need because You alone are my ultimate)
The world sometimes hurts too much to make sense of it. Come, Jesus, come.
My pastor has stage 3 cancer and 3 young children.
One of my best friends is walking through a world of hurt.
I'm far away from the man I want to marry.
A co-worker is emotionally separated from her husband.
People I closely walk with fight daily temptations of anorexia and depression.
The wall over my bed is covered with faces of those who may be hungry, cold, or neglected right now.
My roommate works at a woman's shelter and hears the stories of abuse and fear.
This week in my mentoring I learned something:
there is a difference between relying and hoping in the Lord for daily earthly things
(help me with this, lead me in that, teach me to this, let me do that)
and putting and storing up my hope in being with the Lord in heaven
(your blood and sacrifice that grants me salvation is enough and all i need because You alone are my ultimate)
The world sometimes hurts too much to make sense of it. Come, Jesus, come.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
revelation
Been thinking deeply about Christ and the Bride (the church). About the final days, when we will be finally with our Maker, our Husband, our Love.
awful things will occur before then. awful terrible things that i do not look forward to. the sun will turn dark very soon, your days are numbered when there's blood on the moon... the skies will open and He will come for us.
with anticipation and excitement, Bride is making herself ready to meet her Husband. the church is complete when the last person who will ever believe finally believes. then all the waiting and the longing will be over. we will be with Him. our King will come to free us from these decaying bodies, from hurt and suffering.
old things will pass away. the pointless things, the painful things, the past things will be no more. all things will be made new. the Bride and her Husband (the church and the Lord) will finally be together.
there's a longing deep within us. a longing for restoration. a longing for wholeness. a longing for things to be "made right". they will be in that day.
so the Spirit and the bride say "Come"
awful things will occur before then. awful terrible things that i do not look forward to. the sun will turn dark very soon, your days are numbered when there's blood on the moon... the skies will open and He will come for us.
with anticipation and excitement, Bride is making herself ready to meet her Husband. the church is complete when the last person who will ever believe finally believes. then all the waiting and the longing will be over. we will be with Him. our King will come to free us from these decaying bodies, from hurt and suffering.
old things will pass away. the pointless things, the painful things, the past things will be no more. all things will be made new. the Bride and her Husband (the church and the Lord) will finally be together.
there's a longing deep within us. a longing for restoration. a longing for wholeness. a longing for things to be "made right". they will be in that day.
so the Spirit and the bride say "Come"
Friday, January 29, 2010
in response to my previous post
I have found the stress-relief cure! Go to the Walmart off 288!
No, there are no short check-out lines.
No, it is not really as clean as they want you to think.
No, it's not been evacuated by every other Dentonite except you.
And, no, the parking lot does not have a space by the door with your name on it.
What it does have, however, is people-watching fun.
For example, the "little person" i saw today who bust out a Michael Jackson move complete with the hat touch, cross-the-ankles-spin, pelvic thrust, and rhythmic "hee-hee! ow!"
Is there anything more stress-relieving than laughter?
No, there are no short check-out lines.
No, it is not really as clean as they want you to think.
No, it's not been evacuated by every other Dentonite except you.
And, no, the parking lot does not have a space by the door with your name on it.
What it does have, however, is people-watching fun.
For example, the "little person" i saw today who bust out a Michael Jackson move complete with the hat touch, cross-the-ankles-spin, pelvic thrust, and rhythmic "hee-hee! ow!"
Is there anything more stress-relieving than laughter?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
stressed is desserts spelled backwards
So maybe if I eat a lot of chocolate this will all go away.
Stress from work. Things I can't change.
Sick. (strep?)
ok so that's all on my list - but still, if i was at liberty to share everything, you'd understand.
it's interesting how people advise you to handle it. yesterday the First Year Teacher Academy told me to "leave school at school" and breathe with ocean sounds in the background. some people tell me to drink (rum and tequila are readily available...) - part of me blames the fact that i missed yoga this week and i'm tempted to just curl in bed and sleep.
but that doesn't make it better. so glad that i have truth in my heart for moments like today when i went into the school bathroom and cried on the floor --
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 115:11
You who fear him, trust in the LORD— he is their help and shield.
Eccles 2:22-23
What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Stress from work. Things I can't change.
Sick. (strep?)
ok so that's all on my list - but still, if i was at liberty to share everything, you'd understand.
it's interesting how people advise you to handle it. yesterday the First Year Teacher Academy told me to "leave school at school" and breathe with ocean sounds in the background. some people tell me to drink (rum and tequila are readily available...) - part of me blames the fact that i missed yoga this week and i'm tempted to just curl in bed and sleep.
but that doesn't make it better. so glad that i have truth in my heart for moments like today when i went into the school bathroom and cried on the floor --
Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 115:11
You who fear him, trust in the LORD— he is their help and shield.
Eccles 2:22-23
What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The One Where Chandler tries to end his gym membership
A few weeks ago I had signed up for a free personal training session at the gym. It's free and an opportunity to learn something - I def never wanted to pay extra for it. Hence the signing-up-bc-it's-free part. But as I sat across the table of the muscular, friendly trainer to hear him talk about his plan for me and how we were going to reach my goals I realized that this would probably turn out more like the Friends episode than I was hoping. (see http://www.friends-tv.org/zz404.html for details if you're not a die-hard Friends fan)
As I've thought about that this afternoon I noticed a pattern in my speech that tends to go like this
"ugh my students will hate me"
"the parents will hate me and send me mean emails"
"they're probably thinking this about me"
"what if he thinks this about me?"
"what will she think?"
"how will she respond if i say what i'm really thinking/feeling?"
aka I'm fearful and allowing my expressions to be curbed by this fear.
Being in a different culture and speaking a different language that you don't fully understand can definitely bring this about. When you are a white woman dealing with the hurts and prejudices that some have of you and your culture (coming to "save the world" because "Americans are better than you") - it makes you self-aware, self-conscious, and always on the lookout for the signs that you've offended someone.
Not that I'm saying we shouldn't be aware, be slow to speak, and think thoroughly through our actions and words before they come out... however
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25
As I've thought about that this afternoon I noticed a pattern in my speech that tends to go like this
"ugh my students will hate me"
"the parents will hate me and send me mean emails"
"they're probably thinking this about me"
"what if he thinks this about me?"
"what will she think?"
"how will she respond if i say what i'm really thinking/feeling?"
aka I'm fearful and allowing my expressions to be curbed by this fear.
Being in a different culture and speaking a different language that you don't fully understand can definitely bring this about. When you are a white woman dealing with the hurts and prejudices that some have of you and your culture (coming to "save the world" because "Americans are better than you") - it makes you self-aware, self-conscious, and always on the lookout for the signs that you've offended someone.
Not that I'm saying we shouldn't be aware, be slow to speak, and think thoroughly through our actions and words before they come out... however
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25
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