in response to my previous post

I have found the stress-relief cure! Go to the Walmart off 288!

No, there are no short check-out lines.
No, it is not really as clean as they want you to think.
No, it's not been evacuated by every other Dentonite except you.
And, no, the parking lot does not have a space by the door with your name on it.

What it does have, however, is people-watching fun.

For example, the "little person" i saw today who bust out a Michael Jackson move complete with the hat touch, cross-the-ankles-spin, pelvic thrust, and rhythmic "hee-hee! ow!"


Is there anything more stress-relieving than laughter?

stressed is desserts spelled backwards

So maybe if I eat a lot of chocolate this will all go away.

Stress from work. Things I can't change.
Sick. (strep?)

ok so that's all on my list - but still, if i was at liberty to share everything, you'd understand.

it's interesting how people advise you to handle it. yesterday the First Year Teacher Academy told me to "leave school at school" and breathe with ocean sounds in the background. some people tell me to drink (rum and tequila are readily available...) - part of me blames the fact that i missed yoga this week and i'm tempted to just curl in bed and sleep.

but that doesn't make it better. so glad that i have truth in my heart for moments like today when i went into the school bathroom and cried on the floor --

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 115:11
You who fear him, trust in the LORD— he is their help and shield.

Eccles 2:22-23
What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

The One Where Chandler tries to end his gym membership

A few weeks ago I had signed up for a free personal training session at the gym. It's free and an opportunity to learn something - I def never wanted to pay extra for it. Hence the signing-up-bc-it's-free part. But as I sat across the table of the muscular, friendly trainer to hear him talk about his plan for me and how we were going to reach my goals I realized that this would probably turn out more like the Friends episode than I was hoping. (see http://www.friends-tv.org/zz404.html for details if you're not a die-hard Friends fan)

As I've thought about that this afternoon I noticed a pattern in my speech that tends to go like this

"ugh my students will hate me"
"the parents will hate me and send me mean emails"
"they're probably thinking this about me"
"what if he thinks this about me?"
"what will she think?"
"how will she respond if i say what i'm really thinking/feeling?"

aka I'm fearful and allowing my expressions to be curbed by this fear.

Being in a different culture and speaking a different language that you don't fully understand can definitely bring this about. When you are a white woman dealing with the hurts and prejudices that some have of you and your culture (coming to "save the world" because "Americans are better than you") - it makes you self-aware, self-conscious, and always on the lookout for the signs that you've offended someone.

Not that I'm saying we shouldn't be aware, be slow to speak, and think thoroughly through our actions and words before they come out... however

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25

after a long hiatus from blogging in general, i finally feel ready to share my heart with the virtual world. and maybe, after some shameless plugging, people will remember this blogspot address and pay attention.

for now, i will not share any heartfelt confessions or deep ponderings on life - though they are soon to come - today i'll keep it light.

i suppose i'm completely adapted to life in Texas again. friends, job, routine, church -- the pains of Mexico don't hit me daily anymore, though I still think on it and smile.

last night i saw one of my best guy friends get down on one knee and propose to my roommate. i'm so happy for them.

i'm enjoying my job and the crazy things that kids say. trying to remember that my job is to serve them, not for them to serve me.

long-distance relationships are hard but i adore my boyfriend and i enjoy getting to know him more each day. he makes me laugh and challenges me to line up my life with what i know to be true.

as for the future, well - i have a feeling that 2010 will be full of plans, surgery, travelling, friendships, celebrations, new discoveries, and good wine... so here's to the whirlwind. follow along with me :)

blogspot or xanga

i think it's ridiculous that even though it's just as much "work" (and yes i use that term loosely) to check my xanga as blogspot - everyone says they would read my blog more if i wrote here... even if it's the same entry...
which is silly to me bc blogspot is less userfriendly and has less options than xanga.
but apparently xanga is "sooo junior high" -- which is kinda why i like it, it's a true journal that reflects my changes, my life, and my maturity.

if you read this - write a little something and i'll consider writing here too...

i don't like to talk about politics

i never win the debates (which i hate!) and i profess that there's much i don't know (and honestly don't care to know). but i just have to admit, here, with the safety and somewhat anonymity of the internet that Obama freaks me out. i get a weird uneasy settling in my spirit about him, when i see him, when i hear him, when someone even says his name to the point where i almost get angry.

i can't explain it. i know it's not logical. and i know i can't win a debate using my feelings. but i also know that God gives discernment. i know that too many of my closest friends share this same feeling (without knowing previously of mine). i know that many make voting about the issues and some might even say that character doesn't matter. but i think that's crap. if you can't trust their character then how can you trust their policies and plans to run the government?


in mexico a few years back there was a presidential candidate who had a cult-like following, who professed many socialist-like programs, and who didn't become president (and ppl to this day still cry FRAUD in that election). i like the man that won; i think that though the election could have not been fair, i got that same creepy feeling from the other guy and i'm glad he didn't win. through this, i believe that God can even transcend our poor election choices if we cry out to Him to protect us and choose who is best.

He isn't dependent on us to make the right choice for Him to intercede, to work and move - and politics is no exception. (although i think more ppl voted for the loser of the mexican election, God is not limited and put the one He wanted in that position). so that's my strategy. i will pray. pray for this country to not be blinded by any trickery, deception, and popularity. pray for Him to help us vote well. pray for God to do what will give us most of Him. pray for Him to come back - i'm tired of this place.

ps. i do now have some logical arguments that support and enhance my uneasiness, so if you want to know, i can tell you - but i am not interested in a debate, i will not listen to your opinions more than to my spirit, and i'll delete your comment if it's an attack. be friendly :)

anonymous discussion #4

modesty.

what is it?

what does it look like for Christian women?

can you wear shorts, if so what length? what about spaghetti straps, sleeveless, tube tops, halters... and bathing suits? no matter what you do with those you are still half naked... where do you draw the line?

how do you set limits on modesty without being legalistic? do the limits differ for every person? what do you do if you think your friend is dressing immodestly?

(PS. guys, i would really love it if you would be honest and tell me what is a stumbling block for you or not... remember, it's anonymous!)